Holding the Hand of Fear

I have decided to use fear as an inciter of action.  For a long time, I considered fear a weakness that I couldn't shake.  Instead, though, I think it is important to hone in on what you fear and use that knotted feeling in your gut to influence your next move.  That twisted, confused nausea has been the driving force for many of my decisions in the last year of my life.  Living with no regrets has been my personal motto ever since I realized that the only way to learn is to make, what some people refer to as, mistakes.  These choices often lead to the most enlightening and telling experiences in my life, so I refuse to label them as wrong.

I am a strong believer in free will, as well as accepting things I cannot change.  Balancing these two notions is difficult, but acknowledging that there is a limit to those things that I can control has allowed me to take chances with the unknown; like stumbling through a dance I'm still learning, holding the hand of an invisible individual who carries me past the missteps and exposes me to the rush of a low dip.  The dance continues so long as I listen to the music and, albeit fearfully, take the next step.  There isn't always a blaring chorus, but sometimes a simple, ceaseless beating that reminds me to keep going.  I have learned to enjoy the soft hum of the spaces between the choruses and focus on growing with the melody.

I am writing my own song and dance with no formal training in either, but persisting, nonetheless.  The steps are unconventional and the song, quite often, out of tune, but these idiosyncrasies are the only things that keep me dancing with the unknown.