Getting your hopes up about something seems to always lead to disappointment. yes, yes you may say i am a bit pessimistic, and if you'd met me you would never guess, but honestly i have climbed so high on the ladder of wishful thinking i am surprised i have not seen angels. and to what outcome? much to my own dismay, none of which i had anticipated.
Don't get me wrong, i will be the first to tell you to 'go with your gut,' but lately the stars just aren't aligning with my all too indecisive gut. it has been said in my family that psychic abilities run in our blood, and i will not deny i am somewhat convinced. however, when it comes to my own life, i have poor judgement when it comes to the goals i pursue. being the fictionally driven person i am, i tend to narrate my own lifetime. ahead of schedule, of course. all too often, disillusionment insues, and i find myself slowly slipping back into the reality of the fact that i do not determine my own fate.
good God, this is beautifully written. and annoyingly vague, of course. fish should not live in bowls. :(
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