Reflection

I sometimes find myself terrified of wasting my life.  If we are here for any particular reason, then I am fully unaware of it.  It would be easy if my hand were guided; my actions controlled. 

But where is the fun in that?

I am having fun exploring exactly where I want to be in my life.  It's ironic how freeing it is to be done with school and realize I was only there because someone told me that's where I was supposed to be.

If I could go back and teach my high school self anything, I would tell her that knowledge is readily available, whether or not you choose to pursue it in a classroom.  I would have told her to take all the money she would spend and the loans she would acquire and buy a passport and hop on a plane.  I would tell her that meeting people from around the world and exploring with them in this thing we call humanity is more educational than any textbook paragraph.  She would realize that at the end of the day, a grade given by someone else is irrelevant and the true test of character is her own perception of herself.  

Reflection and regret are frighteningly similar, and yet I do not regret where I have been.  While I wonder if I would have made the decisions that I now wish I had, if it would make a difference.  Or would I still be the person I am today.

I think that the weight of my decisions greatly impacts my life, however my personality has not changed.  I sometimes feel exactly like that high schooler, timidly choosing my own destiny with the words of the people I respect tucked behind my intentions.  This way I can hold them accountable for steering my life's vessel.

Now, though, I will break off the training wheels and speed ahead.  I don't make mistakes.  I make choices.  Whether or not I like or can live with the consequences is fully up to me.

So I will leave you with the words I heard every morning over the intercom at my high school:

"Make it a great day or not.. The choice is yours."